Saturday, October 21, 2006
haiz... vv is depressed..... sobsob....sniff....*cry*
im not EXACTLY sure WHY.......but... i think its due to several things....
one of them is cuz of my results.. i very worried lah....haiz... my parents...especially my mum...she really hopes[or hopeD] that i wont fail anything.... well.. the thing is.. i did fail.....infact.. i failed 2 subs for final year.... i know abt it. but i didnt tell them. i do not dare. im scared that i would dissappoint them or smth.... even though its reality... well...eventually.. they will know. in fact, they will find out abt it on monday.. cuz thats when we r getting our report books back...
its not like i wanna keep it from them or smth.. but its cuz like.. well.. they seemed so happy for me when they heard abt my GOOD results.. cant imagine when they hear that i actually failed TWO subjects....haiz...
right now... i feel so empty...so lonely... and... i dunno. but whatever it is.. i can NOT let my mum notice that im in depression...X[ haiz. she knows me well.. she sure will notice that smth is wrong.. and then she will ask me de.. so i have to force myself to smile and sound happy...when im not. hai.... and as i mentioned earlier... well..results isnt all that is bothering me... still got others larh.. haiz.
im not sure abt it. and i also not sure how to say. but all im gonna say is that.. i think sometimes i think too much..and maybe im too sensitive. i dont know lah.
gonna type out parts of a few songs... that kinda apply to my mood... maybe it'll help me express easier...
its kinda sad..really...guess im a soreful linger. when the credits roll,i still cant get the picture. its a picture i hold in my heart...
it makes me mad..really...wish i could blame a twister...or a hurricane....or my pesky sister... wish i could blame away this feeling in my heart...
there's a road that's left to travel...there's bridges left to burn...there are songs i havent written...lessons left to learn.. there's reasons, still to fight. there's you to kiss goodnight. So hold on, hold on Tight.
it's not so sad..really...it's JUST a little splinter... that i found today.. when i was a little better.. it's just a little splinter in my heart....
there's a road that's left to travel...there's bridges left to burn...there are songs i havent written...lessons left to learn.. there's reasons, still to fight. there's you to kiss goodnight. So hold on, hold on Tight.
it ain't bad..really..it's just a tiny splinter.... just like a fallen leaf...in the tad of winter... its just a tiny splinter..... in my heart...
[[it makes me really-vv copyrite]]
Of all the things i believed in... i just wanna get it over with.. tears form behind my eyes, but i do not cry[or do i..?]..counting the days that past me by...i've been searching deep down in my soul.. words that i'm hearing..are starting to get old. it feels like im starting..all over again.. i still get lost in ur eyes. and it seems that i cant livea day without you... closing my eyes..till you chase my thoughts away, to a place where i am blinded by the light but it's not right. and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. i want what's urs and i want what's mine. i want you but im not giving in this time. [[goodbye to you-michelle branch]]
haiz...liddat lor... im just depressed ok..?! haiz. think i may need sum1 to talk to.. but... i dont know what to say... actually.. i do not really want to talk.. i just need ur company..in silence maybe. feel like locking myself up.. but yet. i also wannt go out. argh. haiz.. sighness.. sad la... sobx.... have been thinking alot lately.. not sure what to think. or rather. whether i should think or not.
ok sry. i take up so much space here. i wanted to share my sorrows and happiness with youall.. just so happens that this particular post is abt my sorrows.. haiz. one of them. think i may have to either cry myself to slp or not slp tonight ler... haiz. erm. but. dont worry too much abt me lar. argh.
by the way... thanks lemoney. i will miss you all loads. like duh. 1st time so long being away...[i think..?] haiz... dont worry. i will tell u guys all abt it when i get back... sighs..10 days... was pretty excited abt it.. well.. i still am.. but i abit no mood now.. supposd to start packing today. end up... no mood lah.... haiz..
gang..!~ though got quite a few more days....i say 1st la... ltr say again. erm. i will really really miss uall alot. hope i dun get too homesick bah.... hm. no offence ar... i miss ual alot alot alot. but i think that the person i will miss the most is my NPY lor... [kh should know who i reffering to.] haa.. cuz i invented the term 'NPY' mwuahaahaa....[in a sarcastic laughter tone...] i love my NPY LOADS. haiz... good night you all. haiz.
=vv, the depressionist=
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